(2021-11-19) Read Web3 Has A Dork Problem

Max Read: Web3 has a dork problem. On Thursday night, a bunch of crypto kids tried to buy the constitution (ConstitutionDAO).

What was the point of buying the copy of the constitution? “We intend to put The Constitution in the hands of The People,” the group’s website says. “Decentralization and cryptocurrency (web3) have created structures that allow people to self-govern with unparalleled levels of autonomy and freedom. It’s fitting that we use this technology to honor and protect the greatest historical tool for human governance: the U.S. Constitution.” Ah.

In the week leading up to the auction, the effort became a focus of the web3 community

(For the record, though privately owned, the document was already being preserved in a museum, where it was on display for the public.)

In the end, ConstitutionDAO raised a little more than $40 million in ethereum from 10,000 people. And then, when the gavel knocked on an auction watched by thousands on a live stream, the DAO lost.

Look: I’m trying not to make any grand pronouncements these days about the future of the internet.

Maybe the era of the DAO is upon us! I am not prepared to say that it’s all a scam or a pyramid scheme. What I am prepared to say is that the culture of web3 on Twitter is truly one of the wackest subcultures I’ve ever encountered in my entire life.

I keep encountering these 20something guys who tweet LinkedIn-type Success Win bromides in a voice I can only describe as the zoomer version of Elon Musk, and it feels like when you accidentally land on a Christian rock radio station and can sense that while all the elements of “rock music” are present, there’s just something ineffably off about the whole business.

I’m just saying, there are members of a cappella groups cooler than these people. Whatever else you might think about Bitcoin, those guys were at least authentic psychopaths.