The Alter Ego Effect - Todd Herman

partial excepts (antilibrary)

Chapter 1: What’s Your Phone Booth Moment?

The alter ego isn’t Superman; it’s Clark Kent. Superman is the real person.

There are a lot of different roles we play in life

And there are the constant forces of society

creates what I call the Trapped Self

Conversely, there’s another experience we have in life, where we feel like our Heroic Self. It’s that part of you that feels like you’re doing what you want, doing it for your own reasons, and you get caught up in the flow of the activity.

When you find yourself bored, anxious, angry, jealous, resistant, overwhelmed, or fearful, you can’t reason yourself out of it.

I want to tell you there’s a Heroic Self waiting to get unlocked, and that an Alter Ego or Secret Identity is the key to Activating it.

When you see how an Alter Ego helps you battle the natural challenges we all face with greater optimism, it can unlock a more playful and empowering approach to overcoming fear

This isn’t a book to remove the challenge of life. It’s to take the part of you that shows up when you least expect it, and show you how to get it to show up when you most need it

Chapter 2: The Origin of Alter Egos

Shep Gordon is known as the Supermensch. He’s a talent manager, Hollywood film agent, and producer.

Actor and director Mike Myers even produced a documentary on his life, aptly titled Supermensch: The Legend of Shep Gordon.

Explore our creative sides, while protecting a fragile self. Be far more intentional about who we’re trying to be on the Fields of Play

first-century BC Roman statesman and philosopher Cicero

a second self, a trusted friend

Because of the rich history of the area, I became extremely interested in Native American culture. One day while lying on the sofa reading up on war dances, a ceremony where a small group of natives would dance around a fire ring, chanting, I learned the purpose was to “gather as one” and channel the spirits to help them in their quest. Suddenly it clicked. I put the book down on my chest and visualized channeling a tribe of warriors to take out onto the field with me. I felt supported, focused, and depended upon. The idea gave me an incredible sense of calm and purpose.*

Joni Jacques shared with the audience how she had purchased a pair of Oprah’s shoes during a charity sale, and it changed her life

when I got really, really depressed, and I couldn’t find anybody to talk to, I took the shoes out and—”2 Oprah cut in, “Stood in my shoes*

A lightbulb went off at that moment, and I remembered the Alter Ego I’d use on the sports field. Joni had made something pop. For some reason, it hadn’t occurred to me to use it in business, but in the end, that world was just another field to perform on. (real world game)

Martin Luther King Jr. wore glasses because he felt they “made him look more distinguished

I raced to the eyeglass store and bought a pair of prescription-free glasses

I started wearing them when I dealt with prospective clients. Just like I used my persona on the sports field. I now transformed into Richard. (Richard is actually my first name, but I had always gone by Todd and still do today.) I put the glasses on only when I needed to be Richard, and I took them off as soon as business was over.

Chapter 3: The Power of the Alter Ego Effect

In my mind, I wasn’t losing a tennis match. I was failing as a human being because being a tennis player was my identity.

It gets to the heart of why talented, capable people underperform. They don’t realize it, but they’re being unintentional about what “who” is showing up on their Field of Play and into those Moments of Impact.

you have a Core Self.

The Core Self is where your deep desires, aspirations, and dreams reside

It’s also the source of “intrinsic motivation

These intrinsic motivators are shared by everyone in some way or another

Who we are, specifically the person we bring to our various Fields of Play and how we perform, is heavily influenced by external and internal factors. I break these groups of influence into four layers that surround our Core Self*

LAYER 1: YOUR CORE DRIVERS (WHAT MOTIVATES YOU AT A GRANDER SCALE THAN YOURSELF)

These give you a sense of purpose

these Core Drivers, and any of the layers, can also affect you negatively as well.

LAYER 2: THE BELIEF LAYER (HOW YOU DEFINE YOURSELF AND THE WORLD AROUND YOU)

LAYER 3: THE ACTION LAYER (HOW YOU SHOW UP)

LAYER 4: THE FIELD OF PLAY (WHAT’S HAPPENING)

All of these layers influence and shape how you think, feel, and see yourself in relation to the different areas of your life or what we refer to as the Fields of Play.

It may be difficult to look at your life and call yourself a “performer.” You may not be “performing” in the context of a Beyoncé, Ellen DeGeneres, or David Bowie, with thousands of people expecting a “show,” but if you think about “show” as simply a fulfillment of expectations, you’ll see the parallels very quickly

ACTIVATING YOUR HEROIC SELF

the idea of using Alter Egos to create some distance between how you currently see yourself and how you’d like to perform is not only smart, it’s backed by research

THE ORDINARY AND EXTRAORDINARY WORLD

treat this idea like a compass, orientating you to one stage. Find one Field of Play, and let’s look at creating something extraordinary there

The terms ordinary and extraordinary are in essence metaphors we use to orient you to the common experience you’ll have when you shift your mindset. Also, the short- and long-term effects of your “orientation” will affect your level of confidence to face the challenges ahead

Researchers have found that “self-suppressive activation” and “self-expansive activation” are keys to opening the vault to more confidence and courage

we refer to it as the Ow Mindset and the Wow Mindset

When you set the orientation, like a compass, to negative motivation and do something to avoid some pain, or avoid something altogether

creates a Trapped Self

Self-expansive activation,” on the other hand, and what we refer to as the “Wow Mindset,” is when your intentions are motivated by a positive or growth mindset. You’re trying to activate or gain something more in life

creates a Heroic Self

Becoming clear about your intentions, identifying the benefits you get from an activity, and determining what you want to achieve on a Field of Play is what will help unlock your Heroic Self.

That’s why we use Alter Egos and Secret Identities; they help us suspend any disbelief and leverage the power of aligning with someone or something else’s strengths, capabilities, and superpowers.

THE IMAGINATION GAME

imagine yourself going onstage as Wonder Woman or Superman

From an observer’s perspective, who is the “real you”?

We are judged in our lives by what we do, not by what we think or intend to do.

This isn’t being fake. Pretending to know about particle physics when you don’t is fake. Using an Alter Ego to entertain a group of physics students when you have been a boring physics professor until now is just bringing the right tools for the job.

Chapter 4: Your Ordinary World

some force was stopping them from moving toward their goals or dreams. This is what is known as the Ordinary World*

YOUR ORDINARY WORLD

As you move through this chapter you’ll decide which Field of Play you’ll focus on

ask them what problems/challenges/frustrations they’re facing