(2024-05-19) Group Chats Rule The World

Sriram Krishnan: Group chats rule the world. Most of the interesting conversations in tech now happen in private group chats.

Salons and groups have always existed but why the recent shift to private discourse?
The great culture wars of 2020 meant people, especially in tech, weren’t comfortable sharing their views in public lest they get various online mobs after them.
COVID-19 meant we all had to shelter indoors and turned online for community.
Many of the big internet trends of recent years – crypto, AI – all started or found homes around small online communities.

Time and time again I’ve seen group chat conversations act as the memetic upstream of mainstream opinion. Like a standup comic workshopping his set in a small club before a big Netflix special

The best ones are a “forever dinner party” – good friends and conversation happening in perpetuity. They often share the below:

Gardener, not carpenter

A good group chat gardener has to know when to bring in new members, when to bring in new ideas or shut down conversation and generally keep the dinner party going in a manner that is fun for everyone

Cooling rods and nuclear reactors

This is usually the BDFL or some trusted member who can judge the state of the group. Conversation slowing down? Get some of these spicy provocative takes going. Conversation getting heated/dominated? Take someone aside and calm them down.

The n-1 group

Every group I’ve been a part of has had multiple side chats

This is desired! I look for this to know if a certain community is “working”.

This leads to one of my favorite axioms: every group chat has a n-1 group containing everyone except that annoying member. And if you think your chat doesn’t have such a group, oh boy, do I have some bad news for you.

Dinner party alchemy

A great dinner party doesn’t have the same kind of person – the best ones have a mix.

Gravitational pull of a few topics

It is common for group chats to suffer from audience capture and start circling the same topics incessantly

This is where variety comes in. You need a constant injection of new ideas, themes, and members into the mix. Stagnation is death.

Size and Pruning

Every good group chat has an inverse relationship with size. It is impossible to add new members forever without decreasing quality. Over time, the group decays in quality and I often find groups with >100 members unsustainable. Far below Dunbar’s number, it breaks some human model of intimacy.

Good group chats make you earn your spot periodically

Shared rituals

They range from the simple (post the same thing every week) to something deeper (organize a multi-day trip once a year). These rituals bring people together in deep ways and give meaning